From Grumpy's Garage

I've been reading  Everybody Writes, by Ann Handley .  (Be sure to get the second edition. The first was good. The second is better.) The first takeaway is to write.  Just write. Every day. That sounds trivial, but it rings true for me. I don't sit down regularly and just write. I don't have the writing habit, yet. (That last word is key. "Yet." That helps me overcome my internal Judge saboteur.  Positive Intelligence  for the win!) So, I'm writing now. I mean  now . You are reading these words only because I'm writing them. I find that this exercise has another benefit. You are probably reading an unedited first draft. While Handley doesn't recommend that, it does serve to help me overcome my fear of being seen---of being judged. (There's my Judge saboteur again. Get back in your cage, Judge!) I've only got a few minutes this morning before family obligations take me away from my computer. But I'm going to write something anyway. Yes, you ...

 I woke up yesterday with my mind ablaze with ideas on how to brand myself, how to present myself to the world as a team development consultant and leadership coach. I value agency and autonomy above most other aspects of work. When I was fresh out of college, I got a job as an engineer at Mare Island Naval Shipyard in Vallejo. It soon felt like I had entered the workforce as a drone in a massive machine, a mere cog. My security clearance was taking forever to process. I was given trivial work to do, tasks that seemed unimportant. It didn't take long for me to wish I could have more control of the work I did and how I did it. I wanted to exercise agency in my work. Well, an opportunity arose for me to go back to school and get an MBA. That's it! I'd become a decision maker, a manager, a boss of others! I'd be the one designing the work, the tasks that needed to be performed, and assigning those tasks to others. So I quit. I enrolled in the the MBA program at CSU Fresno....

  So I wanted to start this blog, but didn't have a clear sense of what I wanted to write about or who my intended audience was. Who does one turn to when they need answers? Google, of course. But I really wanted a writing coach, someone who would prompt me through the decision process. I know what! Do both! So I popped on over to bard.google.com. Here's a transcript of most of the conversation. (The profile image shown below,  , is from my alter ego Gmail account.)

Image by Dan Carter (https://www.flickr.com/photos/dannylakeboy/) I was chatting with some friends, yesterday, about the different kinds of energies that we bring to our work and how organizations often expect us to put on a "professional" mask. That often manifests as conversations having a distinctly masculine, goal oriented tone: stick the landing, win the contract, close the sale, make the touchdown. I also shared that Teal organizations   aspire to let people bring their whole selves to work. That got me to thinking: Are Teal organizations more feminine? That's not to say people can't be masculine in Teal orgs, but does everybody have to be masculine? Does the feminine have to be suppressed? Is there a Yin/Yang dynamic, where organizations are not wholly one or the other, but always in tension? I know that I, for one, need to get more in touch with my feminine side. I want to tap my intuition and creativity, attributes that I associate with a less masculine...

Willi Heidelbach, CC BY 2.0 via Wikimedia Commons Well, this is embarrassing! I haven't published a blog post since July, and here it is October. Wow! Three months! It's like I took Q3 off or something. OK, I took Q3 off. I've been trying to figure out what my message is, what my purpose is, and what the hell I'm trying to do with this blog and this side gig. No, I don't have the answers, yet. But that's no excuse to not write and speak and listen. I must engage with others to find some answers, to find what resonates with my audience and with my soul. So here I am, pouring stream of conscious into a blog post, not knowing where this is going. And, you know what? That's OK! So, tell you what. I'm going to go pour myself another cup of coffee. When I get back, we can have a chat about what lies ahead today. I'll be right back. *     *     * OK, I'm back with a warm cup of French Roast coffee. I get my K-cups, err, coffee pods, from San Francisco B...